Finding Peace Without "God"

How I “Felt” Jesus

The following is actually from the comments section of my “How I Got Here” tab.  (top right of your screen) Since it will get lost in that portion of my blog, because that page isn’t visited regularly, I decided to post it as a blog.  I’d love to know your thoughts, so comment away!

Most, at least the way I learned in the Baptist church, Christians do not believe in ghosts/spirits because after we die we either go to heaven or hell and therefor ghost cannot exist.  Even people who don’t believe in ghosts can get spooked by the power of suggestion. For instance, even though I don’t believe in ghosts, if I was with someone who did and we were alone in an unfamiliar place and that person said to me, “I feel a presence here” and then elaborated on that, I could easily start to feel uneasy and perhaps even get caught up in what they were saying. If I let my imagination go, I could even begin to see shadows or “sense” something too. I could get spooked. So, my point is, that our minds are very powerful and our imaginations can take over- when I said that I “saw Jesus” what I meant was that my mind imagined it. I never actually SAW him, like I looked up and he was standing there, but I was able to “see” him in a spiritual way. I FELT him or at least what I thought was him. I FELT that warmth come over me. I was able to “see him work” in ways that I couldn’t explain. I “knew” that he was present and real. I don’t know how else to explain it. But I promise you that I HAD the “Christian experience”. The difference between me and continued-believers such as yourself, is that I realize now that those feelings were imagined. I doubt that I can convince of any of this because, at risk of sounding presumptuous, you are blind to any other possibility. You BELIEVE. I do not. But I believed at the time and it was real to me at that time.

Since that point, I have been on a journey. I have questioned. I am a natural skeptic, always have been, always will be. I am incapable of believing in god. Even though I had those experiences and at that point in time, I believed that it was real, I eventually began to question, just as I always have.

I wanted to believe. I wanted it to be true. But it isn’t. I couldn’t MAKE it my truth. You have made it your truth and unless your mind changes there is nothing that I can say that will make you understand.

You don’t need to feel sorry for me or try to convince me that your way is the truth. I am not afraid or scared of MY truth. I am at peace.

I believe in myself and others. That is enough for me.

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